A refreshing and pleasant Sunday

I found some balance today. I went to a Sunday morning church service for the first time in roughly 8 or 9 months. It was exactly what I needed.

However, this brings up an interesting dilemma: do we go to church for ourselves or for God? This was a question that I overheard the other day -- that so often we look for what church and the community gives ourselves, that we overlook or don't realize that it's not really about us at all. In the grand scheme of things, we're not the reason that we go to church or have relationship with God. God created us to worship him -- that's the reason for our existence. My birth was not for me to get wrapped up in in my life. My birth was to spend my days on earth and, ultimately, in heaven professing my love and giving honour to the creator of the universe.

Wow. Have I been looking at relationship with Jesus all wrong? I think that 'yes' is the answer here. I've spent most of my life looking for fulfillment, thinking it would come about when I got what I needed. Could it be that we find fulfillment when we consider whose needs we're here to fulfill?

As I write this, something in me is really uncomfortable. Really, really uncomfortable. The questions arise: Is my happiness not worth something? Shouldn't I care about that? Is God so unsure of his place in the universe that He had to create a universe to adore Him to help Himself feel good?

I think that misses the point. It's about submission... and I really don't like that word! But, it is about submission! It's about realizing my place in the universe. Realizing that I am a created being and that God loves me. He doesn't need me to say anything to make Him feel better about his deity. He's God!! He can make Himself feel better if that was an issue for Him! However, that again misses the point and I think I'm digressing.

The act of submission is about me recognizing that while I do have problems and issues to face as a man, there is a universe that is so much larger than me and my problems and issues. There is a world of hurt and poverty and want. There is a spiritual battle that wages for eternity. There is so much more than me.

So, while today's trek to Vancouver was a welcome spiritual blessing, I had a realization that I've been looking at my unbalanced life with the wrong glasses. The lens I should be looking through is me in the context of a whole world that needs to see Jesus. As the Isrealites proclaimed on Palm Sunday all those 2,000 years ago, "Hosanna." Hosanna means "God, save us."

God save me. God save this world.