samatlarge: Takin' the Yellowhead Pt. 2

On Wednesday morning, Jen and I had a great breakfast with our grandmother and then we finally got on the road.

The plan had been to find an IHOP because Jen had a craving for pancakes or something. I love breakfast out -- definitely one of my favourite meals to go out for -- so this didn't seem like a bad idea. But, my grandma had a carton of eggs and a ham and a loaf of bread on the counter. I suddenly realized that she had just gotten them the day before and had been telling my uncle that we were coming... yeah, she had bought the breakfast stuff just for us. Jen and I quickly abandoned the IHOP plan for two reasons: 1) my grandmother was expecting us to have her breakfast, and 2) she's just such a sweet old lady! Clearly, breakfast was to be had at home. Don't get me wrong -- it was tasty.

However, Jen still had her hankering for pancakes so we decided to find the IHOP in Kamloops and have a 2nd breakfast... as you do.

We pulled in Kamloops and began the search for the IHOP... Ok, it wasn't at the top of the hill. Maybe it was down in the old part of town? Nope. How about on the highway just east of the city? Not there either. A quick check of the yellow and white pages proved there was no IHOP in town. What was this? Prison?

We made do with Denny's. You have to understand that this is kind of funny because Jen and I have a long and distinguished history with Denny's. During college, I drank many a late night cup of coffee and smoked numerous packs of Benson & Hedges at the location at North Rd. and Austin Ave. Jen did much the same at the Langley restaurant. So, needless to say, it was pretty comical find ourselves looking at the menu and deciding on ordering Moons Over My Hammie.

The rest of the day was spent driving and avoiding bugs. Or not avoiding them, actually. We must have washed that windshield about 100 times. We'd no sooner get back on the highway and we were navigating via bug guts.

You probably think I'm kidding how bad it was. But, the front of the car was a mess! On the bright side, though, was the extra protein available to us when we were feeling a might run down.

*****

I haven't eaten so much crap in quite some time. And it was awesome! I recently discovered beef jerky and that seems like the absolutely perfect road trip food. It's low in fat, high in salt, very savoury, hard to chew and comes in bags with names like Oberto and McSweeney's. How road trip is that? Jen even got a Hostess King Dong. Yes, it is as nutritious and filling as you'd expect from Hostess-Frito Lay, that paragon of healthy eating.

*****

Around Jasper we saw this massive elk and Jen stalled the car in the process of stopping. It's called a clutch, my dear.

I ran across the road and took photos. I felt like such a tourist. And the actual fact that I was acting like one was confirmed when an entire tour bus pulled over a minute later and offloaded a bunch of holidayers with cameras in hand.