Putting Down Some Roots

I've been taking a lot of time to look at my life and my surroundings and I've come to this conclusion: I have put down very few roots.

The more I think about it, I wonder if that is the most important thing to be worried about at this point in my life. It also begs the questions of whether I need any roots. That's the academic in me. The pragmatist in me says that the answer is yes, I need roots.

In the last two places I've lived I have almost refused to unpack everything or to put pictures on the walls. Not consciously. I just couldn't be bothered to settle in. In short, I haven't made the places I've lived in feel like a home. What's with that?

But this week I've been feeling very unsettled about being unsettled. I've looked at my apartment and I wasn't feeling good about passing by the assortment of boxes and clutter that were strewn about my home. So I had some help yesterday in getting some new furniture and unpacking the last few remaining boxes. My place isn't exactly where I want it yet, but it's a damn sight closer to the goal. I actually feel like I want people over. I actually feel like I have some permanence that I want to share with those around me.

I think that previously I had been feeling like the bottom could drop out of everything at any moment and it was best not to get too attached to my living space in case I had to run at a moment's notice. Very odd, considering that I lived at my last place for almost 8 years and I have no reason to think that I'll be leaving my current place any time soon. I suppose it has to do with the uncertainty I have felt about my life for a number of years now. It's uncertainty about friendships, relationships, work, profession, church, etc. But I'm finally coming to the realization that I don't have to actually embody uncertainty in the midst of the uncertainties that swirl about me.

How do I live that out? I start by unpacking some boxes and making a home for myself. I start by putting down some roots.